On Pale Worms

20 HD, +5 To-Hit, Ignores Any Damage Under 4 

They crawl. Massive. Quick. They have three eyes; one vast and facing straight on, the other two lower down on either side, never both open at the same time. They blink constantly to remain aware of their surroundings.

This cousin to the purple worm lives almost wholly above ground. It is slow to start and impossible to stop; every turn it can accelerate or decelerate 30 feet a round, up to a maximum of 720 (about 80 miles an hour). If it doubles back after rushing by you at top speed (and it always goes top speed), you won't see it for another 50 rounds: it's armored plates leave it nearly incapable of turning.

So it plows through country and city alike in huge lazy circles, blasting through buildings to add their detritus to it's hide. All the riches of the world end up within their stomachs, each a larder of treasures.

Worm tracks are long, wavy, and gently curving: they make for perfect roads for weary travelers. Luckily, there's no chance of being surprised by a worm, as the things have only one volume: perpetual agony. Maybe something inside them is broken.

Surprisingly hard to find good pictures of worms.

You've heard that in other lands they've saddled these beasts, and learned to control them. You've also heard it the other way around; these things were built, and now have escaped, estranged from their original purpose. You're not sure which theory sounds stupider.

While still, the beast is massive but not dangerous: even being attacked only makes it move 1 time in 6. While moving, anyone looking at it realizes the obvious: that thing is filled with enough gold to turn this life into paradise. Make a DC 20 WIS check, unless you specifically look away.

If you pass the check, you feel a deep sense of shame. All the treasures of the world! A life free from pain and suffering! And yet you didn't even move, and now it's gone. Each passed check gives you -1 to all rolls for the rest of the day as you mentally beat yourself up.

Fail and you inch yourself closer to worm's oncoming path. Fail three times and next turn it will be upon you. Everyone talks about the treasure, but nobody talks about the teeth: those swallowed take 10 1d6 damage attacks in it's toothed esophagus on their way to the stomach.

Think less fire and more on the ground. From Girl Genius.

Inside the stomach will be 20d4 porcellaneous pellets, each containing 20d100 gp in gold and art (for the worm is like a sieve: it uses the ugliness of life as a shield, while keeping the beautiful inside). You may grab one and be summarily shit out, or attempt to cut your way out. Any damage inflicted upon the worm causes 1d4 stomach contractions, each crushing you for 1 damage.

After 15 damage you've cut a gash into the outside world. The worm will thunder on, bellowing in pain and leaking stomach acid, losing 1 HP every turn. It will only stop once it has left it's attackers far behind. It will burrow down, down, deep into the earth, where it will rest and heal. And then it will return. The worms always return.

I think all the best monsters are metaphors for the things we fear. So here's a monster about my relationship with trains. Thankfully, things have been going a lot better lately.